Too Many Backpacks, Not Enough Brunch

Having completed my wardrobe transformation from A-line dresses and patterned stockings to jeans and flats (I have yet to succumb to Seinfeld attire of accessorising with sneakers), the North Californian transformation is coming along nicely.  Currently sipping my surprisingly decent macchiato in a shared-workspace/coffeeshop in the CBD, while the megaphonic voices of activists protesting climate change outside are making me feel right at home.

Anyway, I’m almost positive the group of guys to my left are creating the next Facebook or Uber, They’re so engrossed in their flowcharts and coding that when an extraordinarily attractive acquaintance arrived and greeted them, she received 2 eyebrow raises and a half smile of acknowledgement. [Oh wait, she’s logging on and coding with them. She didn’t identify the social ineptitude. Awkwardness averted.]

Maybe I should join them, seeing as I totally code now. And by ‘code’ I mean I can fluff around with the CSS stylesheet for this website –  more often than not breaking things beyond repair, but then expertly hitting the ‘Restore’ button to make things go back to the way they were. My husband informs me that this is as much ‘coding’ as watching Suits is considered ‘practising law’.  Whatever, George.

But in addition to my inability to code, my loathing of backpacks will probably preclude me from completely assimilating as a true San Franciscan.

Of course backpacks are a great way to transport laptops, cords, powerboards, noise-cancelling headphones, iPads and allergy medications but must they remain on your back on an unventilated train in peak-hour, or better yet, sitting on the empty seat next to you? If I can find the wherewithal in my soul to rest my Kate Spade tote on the floor of the train, surely your Crumpler will too survive slumming it on the ground?

Speaking of slumming it, I shall seamlessly segue into the next portion of this update: First World Problems for Foodies. (Segue not to be mistaken for ‘Segway’ the two-wheeled device that Japanese tourists use to move around Golden Gate Park).

Melbourne’s brunch game is strong. Actually, ‘strong’ isn’t the word… Unparalleled is more accurate. Acai bowls, smashed avocado with goats cheese, zucchini fritters – nary to be seen on a normal cafe menu in San Francisco. Heartbreaking from someone who prided herself on slowly but consistently macchiato-ing her way through Melbourne’s brunch offerings.

So we’ve had to improvise by #shockhorror, making our own brunch on weekends if we don’t want to spend over an hour in the queue at any one of San Francisco’s 11 renowned brunch spots. We managed to pull through this incredibly difficult time in our SF life and produced a weekend brunch menu of Jaffa-Berry Pancakes on Saturday, and Mediterranean Baked Eggs by GKT for our Sunday feast.

Necessity is the mother of invention and Melbourne is the mother of brunch. But when we return to Melbourne for brief jaunts, I’ll be the one inhaling long macchiatos and eating my own body weight in puffed quinoa-sweet-potato-zucchini-fritters-on-a-bed-of-kale at some up-and-coming hipster eatery in Fitzroy.

I’ll stop ranting like an indulgent food wanker now, but truly won’t someone think of the poor, under-utilised avocados sitting on the kitchen bench… Waiting all day merely to be made into nondescript avocado slices for sushi or if they’re lucky, guacamole at a fancy Mexican-fusion restaurant?

All-in-all, San Francisco has welcomed us with open arms, stunning weather, delicious food, better-than-expected coffee and countless opportunities for exploration. And explore we shall – Saturday and Sunday morning (after manufacturing our own brunch experience… Okay, I’ll let it go now) were spent wandering through Golden Gate Park, Ocean Beach and the Presidio. And in case you’re wondering, yes that beautiful structure pictured at the top of this post is The Palace of Fine Arts, just casually sitting in the middle of the city. There is truly no end to the picturesque havens you can find as you wander the muscle-tearing hills, and streets lined with ‘Full House’ Victorian homes.

Sunday morning trail walks #presidio #sf #walks

A photo posted by Nat Devitsakis (@unfitnimproper) on Sep 27, 2015 at 1:42pm PDT

A Few Favourites Thus Far:

Walks Golden Gate Park to Ocean Beach. Having spent most of the weekend on long walks through Golden Gate Park, along the Pacific at Ocean Beach and in the incomparable Presidio, it’s not hard to understand why this is such an outdoorsy city. (I’m also now relishing in my first bout of sunburn for 2015.)

Comedy  Equal First Place Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Fox News

Ice-Cream  Secret Breakfast – Vanilla icecream with bourbon and cornflakes. (I wish I was making this up.)

Coffee Macchiato from Artis in Hayes Valley. (When the barista exclaims ‘Oh my God! Australians like our coffee?!’ you know your compatriots have been caffeinated hard-asses to the poor people at the coffee machine.)

Celebrity Advertising Mary J Blige, Taraji P Henson and Kerry Washington for Apple.

Fun Fact Australia is one of the few places in the world that dusts chocolate/cocoa on a cappuccino. (And in general for those planning on making the trek to the ‘land of the free but nothing is free because you have to tip for everything’ –  a flat white is a latte, a cappuccino is a latte in a mug, and a latte is a large bowl of milk with a shot of coffee. See below).